Rain
is bad in a city where it never rains.
So a few words of caution: If a car next to you hydroplanes and throws
a tidal wave over your
windshield, DON'T PANIC!!!!!!!!!!! Just calmly take your foot off the
accelerator and start whistling "Whenever I Feel Afraid" and everything
will work out. The big news of the week is that I'm now comfortable
enough to drive with the radio on without the fear of being distracted.
Jack has nominated himself as my driving instructor and insists that
we'll have a few highway lessons this coming week as well as a few
parallel parking lessons. And I've given myself the title "Slowest
Driver in LA" and wear it proudly.
Also $10 will NOT fill up your gas tank. (This war's never going to
end, folks. They're making way too much money.) But I'm happy to report
that Little Echo is not a gas guzzler. I do, however, feel compelled to
apologize to her every time I get in and start the engine. "Little
Echo, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do to you today." They're not
kidding about LA traffic. And parking is kind of a nightmare. But I
have figured out something about driving. When people sit down for too
long, they fall asleep. And THAT'S why driving's dangerous. I think
they should redesign cars that require the drivers to stand. And I
continue to get lost . . . and more lost.
2. More job searching with two bites:
Add the following to the previous list of job applications that I've sent out:
house sitter extra/stand-in
caterer
Since
most of you know how much I HATE waiting tables these days and how
LOATHSOME I think bartending is, I have managed to land a job that's
perfect for me at the moment--mindless and isolating. (Thank you
Craigslist!) Once I told my friend Kristina that my ideal job would be
working in a warehouse or basement packing boxes. Well, I'm going to
work for a used book dealer, in his home "office", uploading his stacks
of books onto Amazon.com.
He said proudly, "I have a hundred thousand books to sell!" He led me
out to his backyard and pointed out five sheds, all piled to their
ceilings with books. I smiled and said, "Good. So you can employ me for
a good long time." The sticking point, of course, is how much per hour.
I might come down in price because he's willing to pay for gas. And
after working in jeans for two years . . . I also interviewed for a job as a cashier at a new cafe. I was
hired but I turned it down with a very polite e-mail because I thought
the owner was going to be watching me like a hawk and waiting for me to
steal something. My sense about his wasn't entirely off because
yesterday (while I was lost and sitting in traffic of course) I got a
text message from him asking me out on a date. Yes, I'm going. And I
hope it's a really fancy, expensive meal. And finally, a new acquaintance named Sophie got me hired at THE
catering company in LA run by a guy named Wolfgang Puck (owner of
Spago). So I'll be training on Tuesday. This is the catering company
that does the Oscars, etc. So IF the Oscars happen this year (I think
they will), you might see me in the background, in my rented tux,
smiling even though my arm is about to fall off from holing a large
tray of sparking something-or-other, and trying to keep it from falling
all over so-and-so's $500,000 gown.
3. The Biz
(Everyone give Jack a round of applause, please.)
I'm going to work with his theater company on a showcase performance.
Each one of us will recite a few short pieces. Should be fun. And
tomorrow, I'll go to my first acting class with Craig Archibald, a
coach and actor who I met in New York. I'm very eager to get back to
it. A two week break is just too long. :) And Kenny has been giving
me lists of people to contact and parties to go to and has invited me
to a couple screenings of the Spirit Awards and couple of parties. So I
think once I get settled in and this strike is over, more things will
start to move. I do have to make business cards or comp cards, though.
Ick.
4. The New Apartment
Very nice so far. I can't do anything
about the rust-colored carpet but I did take out the lime green
curtains. Aaron and Eslsa are sweet, sweet, sweet. And very helpful
even though Aaron gives terrible driving directions . . . and they
refuse to turn on the heat . . . or close the windows. The apartment is
quiet, spotlessly clean, and big. So what if I've just discovered that
I'm living in South Central?
5. LAPD: We should stop teaching our children to find a cop if they need help
Actually,
this happened last week but I forgot to include it. Don't ask the LAPD
for help. Ever. When I left my lights on and needed a jump, I asked a
police officer who'd just come out of a gas station snack shack if he
could help me. He shrugged and said, "Call AAA if you have it.
Otherwise I don't know what to tell you. Good luck." And he walked
away. I guess it was helpful because in my freaked out state, I had
completely forgotten about my newly established AAA membership BUT . .
.
6. The weather continues to disappoint but so far the people I've met have been much better than I hoped for.
